The Longer I’m Single, The More I Want To Stay Single
Most girls would love to be in a relationship because that is the status quo. It is what society expects that every young woman of a certain age be in a relationship and when some people do not want to conform or express wishes of staying alone, you can see the judgment that follows such a comment. Some people have become so obsessed with being in a relationship that it does not matter how bad or toxic that relationship is, they are comfortable that at least they are in a relationship. The social media platforms are not helping matters either with all the posts and romantic pictures people put up of themselves and their significant others. These pictures usually tend to make people feel as if they are missing out on one of the most important aspects of life which they aren’t. To be honest, it is a terrible state of affairs, and I for one have decided to be my own person.
I do not want to be in a relationship with anyone. There I’ve said it. I’m proud of myself, and I don’t particularly give a damn about what anybody thinks about my choice because it is my choice and no one else’s. So while the world totally thinks that being in a relationship is more awesome than being single, I disagree. I think the single life is just plain awesome. I’m pretty sure by now you must be asking why and how I came to such a conclusion. Well, it is simple. Whenever I am in a relationship with someone, I usually forget how happy my single self can be in the midst of all the relationship drama. Just to clear the air, I am not of the opinion that having a boyfriend does not feel good because it does, I’m only saying that being single is also good too. There are many reasons which make me a great fan of the single life, and in this article today, I will be sharing twelve of them with you.
1. Being single is by far simpler than being in a relationship.
Things are way simpler when it is only you than they would be if you were in a relationship. Decisions are made by you based only on yourself and not on someone else’s quirks. You do not have to pander to someone else. In addition to that, you do not have to carefully wade through any relationship issues because you are on your own. Your emotions would also be able to take a breather from being tangled and hurt. Focusing on your job and hobbies becomes way easier because you do not have the distraction of a boyfriend to disturb you. Your happiness and peace of mind lies in your hands and does not hinge on your significant other’s moods, actions or inactions. In addition to that, the ever-present tingle of fear at the prospect of a breakup or being cheated on is not there at all. Your life revolves around you for once and not around you and your partner.
2. I can do what makes me happy without considering any other person.
Honestly, the single life is the bomb. I get to do the things that make the happiest without worrying if my significant other would care for that activity and if he would have just as fun as me and in case he does not, we get to find a middle ground every single time. I never actually get to do the things I want to do with and for myself because boo might not find it all that interesting or fun. Being the kind of person who has never really needed someone else for me to have fun, the single life is ideal. I enjoy moments of solitude and quietness. I have so many other things in my life that are going in for me that the prospect of a boyfriend right now does not bring me any excitement. Having a boyfriend can be cool, but I’m not in the market for one.
3. I control my time and keep my own hours, and I love it.
One of the things about being in a relationship that I do not like is how both partners have to squeeze out time for their significant others even when they really do not have that time to spare. It is because they have an obligation to their relationship and their significant others. I’m not saying a couple should not make out time for themselves; nothing like that. The only thing I am trying to say is that for a very busy woman, it can be hard to squeeze out time for your partner and that might cause you to develop guilty feelings. The same goes vice versa. If a man is in a relationship with a needy woman, it will sap almost all of his time trying to appease her. But if you were single, you would not have to slash some of your activities to accommodate someone else; you just live your life the way you want. I do my stuff when I want to do it, and however, I want to get it done without worrying about someone in my life feeling neglected. The single life is pretty amazing.
4. I have never felt as strong and so in charge of my life as I have while living the single life.
There is a reason why people in a relationship are called “couples.” It is because they are two different people who have come together in many ways. Couples do almost everything together from making decisions about their relationship to making joint decisions about not only your life but also your relationship. You feel like your own boss whenever you are single, and the sheer amount of joy you get from the freedom of making your decisions is a sort of power rush. In all effect, you are your own boss, and if you want to hang out with Mark from high school for lunch, nobody is going to question your decision or your fidelity. As a single woman very much enjoying the single life, I report back to myself. Hence I do not spend any time giving my partner an explanation for the actions I take and the decisions I make. One other advantage of answering to myself is that I have found out that my decisions are solely based on my happiness, and that is very important to me.
5. My productivity levels are off the charts as a single woman.
I liken being in a relationship to having a temporary child. Everything in your life changes and you have to figure in the other person’s emotions and well being into your decisions. Just like a mother who would avoid attending certain events because it is not a conducive place for a child, so also would a woman in a relationship forgo some of her haunts as a single woman simply because her significant other would not be happy with it. You might even find out that you begin to do some things which you do not really fancy because it would make your partner happy. But as a single woman, I focus only on myself. Accomplishing my personal goals becomes easier and faster without the distraction of a relationship. I do not get sidetracked with my partner’s desires and needs which would probably make my own goals be achieved at a later time than it normally would which is a bit of a problem to me. Also being on my own has helped me to discover other parts of myself better that I never knew existed without any relationship drama.
6. I have the freedom of packing up and traveling whenever I feel like it.
Being spontaneous is a wonderful trait in a person, but sadly it can be placed on a back burner when you are in a relationship. You might ask why. Spontaneity thrives on impulsivity, and when you cannot act on your impulsive thoughts because of what your significant other would think or how it would seem as if you do not care for them, it gets spoiled. Many letters would find their impulsive sides stifled and bound by the ropes of a relationship. They would be less inclined to think up spontaneous actions and go through with them because their partners might not really be the spontaneous type and would be unhappy. In a relationship, spontaneity is sacrificed unless you are in a relationship with an equally spontaneous person and even in such a case, your spontaneity becomes planned to accommodate both of you. But as a single person who is both spontaneous and impulsive, I am actually enjoying those traits without the anchor of a relationship weighing me down. I can always do the things I’ve wanted to do such as traveling to new places, exploring new things and just generally having a blast of an adventurous life. I do not have to answer to someone or explain my sudden desire to travel. I can just do what I want to do because my time is mine and mine alone. I can decide not do anything the whole day or decide to stay in for dinner at the very last minute without getting a backlash for my choice.
7. My money is mine, and my spending is subject to no questioning by any other person.
You see when you are in a long-term relationship like marriage or you are engaged and living with your fiancé, your money ceases to be yours alone and any spending done with that money becomes subject to questioning, discussions, and approval. You do not have to think about what your partner would say if you made a pleasure buy or if you decided not to spend it. Neither would anybody “borrow” money from you without paying back because you are in a long-term relationship where what you have is theirs and what they have is yours. By being single, you also avoid being made to feel ashamed because you are making far less than your partner is making. You also would not have to run your expenses by your partner for approval before you can make them. As a single woman, I can happily spend on anything I want to spend my money on no matter how frivolous it is without fear of censure.
8. Freedom, one of the biggest perks of living the single life.
Once you get into a relationship with someone you have lost a little part of your freedom. Want to know how? You can’t just up and travel without having to tell your partner, and if he is not down for it, you probably will not go. You can’t just do anything you want to anymore because you have someone else to consider. Any big decisions of your life have to be made as a joint effort because there is someone else in your life. But when you are single, you make your big decisions alone, and you only consider your own benefit, not someone else’s. The independence is very seductive. You get to do what you want and when you want it without being accountable to anyone. The single life is a blast.
9. You can be your quirky self without feeling as if you have to conform to the society.
There are many thing people do in a relationship which is not a part of them to impress their significant others. Most people hide their quirky sides or pretend to like things they don’t just to avoid being censured by their partners. That life is not for me anymore since I became a single agent. I do not like the ordinary things that every woman is supposed to like. For instance, I have never cared for a day job with specific hours I want to set my own hours and work at my own pace; I don’t want the traditional white picket fence and 2.5 children. I just want to be me. The person who loves to visit new places and explore new things. It is me, and I love it. I figure that you only live once so make good use of your one chance.
10. I am focused on my personal improvement and growth
What is the purpose of waking up every day if not to improve yourself? Personal growth should be a very important part of everybody’s life, and no one should ever leave that part of their lives unattended. Personal growth and development does demand a lot of time and attention, and it is not always so easy to shell out the amount of time and focus needed to develop yourself when you are in a relationship. This is because most of your time and energy would be spent working and developing your own relationship. But when you are a single agent, it is so much easier to have long moments of introspective thinking where you can analyze your life and tell what needs developing and what needs to leave. When you are single, you discover the real you without the distraction of a relationship, and you get to work on the most important person in your life, you.
11. I have time to build up other friendships and relationships
It is a known fact that whenever a girl enters a relationship with a new guy, she usually spends almost all her time with him leaving her other relationships and friendships to suffer neglect. They are not to blame in any way because you only have so much strength and time to invest in relationships. And once most of it has been taken up by your significant other, other relationships would have to wait. Whenever I was in a relationship, I had to stretch my time and energy between my significant other and my friends and family with my significant other getting the bulk of it. But as a single woman, I have ample time, and energy to nurture other relationships and friendships. I can now be there for my friends and family without feeling as if I have neglected someone else. Oh, and the guilt of missing meet-ups with my friends because my significant other needed me is no longer there.
12. The most important part of my single status is that I am happy being single.
In everything that you do, the first question you need to ask yourself is “Am I happy?” This will save you from doing something that might cause you misery or stay in a situation that causes you misery for any length of time. If you are happy, then go ahead with whatever you are doing or intend to do because it is worth it. As to being single, I honestly feel very happy, and I have no regrets or desire to be in a relationship at all. Being single is the happiest I have ever been. I may not be cut out for all the drama that is a legitimate part of every relationship, and so the single life suits me very much. I can have my freedom, make my decisions, be a spontaneous traveler and pretty much focus on myself fully. So, yes I’m happy about being single, and for me, that is all that matters.
Having read through all the reasons for which I have decided that I dig the single life, you might begin to understand my choice, and if it isn’t something you like, then you are free to enjoy your relationships. I wish you the very best but do not for any reason remain in a relationship because it is what the society wants. If the single life fascinates you just as much as it does me, leave your misery and join the singles club. You will be well welcomed.