Is Your Partner Lying To You? Use These CIA Tricks To Discover The Truth
One of the most hurtful things that a person can do their partner apart from cheating on them is lying. In fact, it does come across as a form of cheating. Not only does lying to your partner hurt them, but it also destroys the foundation of your relationship with them. No matter the relationship you have with anyone be it business, romantic, familial or even academic, telling lies does something irreparable to that relationship, and when your lies have been exposed, there is no coming back. If you cannot trust your partner, then who else can you trust. If there is no trust in the foundation of your relationship, then that relationship is definitely going to crash. No crime is ever committed without lying, and so that is why lies are seen as the bedrock of any vice.
You see, everyone lies on a daily basis on almost insignificant things. In a poll that was conducted recently on Readers Digest, a whopping 96% of Americans did confess to telling lies to people who are close to them. But in this article, we would be discussing damaging lies, the type of lie that can destroy a family, break up a home and cause so much pain. Most serial liars would tell you that lying is an art and those who are caught, don’t know the art of lying very well. Serial liars put in a lot of time and expertise into fabricating their lies, they pay attention to details and even fabricate answers for the responses they are sure to get. Almost everyone I know hates a liar, and I feel that liars are the one set of people I don’t want to have any dealings with. Nobody wants to be lied to. Being lied to evokes feelings of stupidity in us, and no one also likes to feel stupid, and that is why we hate liars. We don’t want to associate with a liar, but sometimes, even our most trusted ally is a liar. It is these types of liars that we need to look out for but how do we know when someone is lying to us. There have been many signs on different websites on social media and even shared among friends. One of them that I feel has become redundant is the whole look into his eyes tactic. This one works on the premise that a liars conscience would not let them look into your eyes enough. I don’t think it works because I have met a few liars who would stare right into your soul even as they told their lies. However in this article today, we would be looking at ways to detect liars CIA style. Let’s find out when our partners are lying to us. It’s time to bring out the big guns when it comes to identifying liars and what bigger gun than the Cia who have met their fair share of liars over the years.
1. WATCH OUT FOR A FLARED NOSE AND SCRATCHING.
Do you know that there is a science to lying right? And this is why the polygraph is good at catching liars. Well, here’s another one. Did you know that when you lie, certain tissues in your nose expand? One doctor from The Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago, Dr. Ala Hirsch has dubbed this little phenomenon the “Pinocchio Sign.” How does it work? Dr. Hirsch explains that the expansion of the nose triggers the release of a hormone called histamine which induces itching in the nose. So, the next time your partner is giving you an excuse for staying out late, why not look out for the wide, itchy nose?
2. WATCH THE BODY FOR CLUES OF A LIE
No one was born to lie. In fact, our very bodies eschew lying and would do everything in their power to alert the other person to the fact that they are being lied to. The only problem is that we don’t look out for those cues. They are called the negation clues simply because they are body gestures that negate what the liar is saying. Some of them include not meeting your eyes, tilting their body away from yours when they are saying the most important part of their lives. Other negation clues include trying to hide their mouths with their hands because somehow their bodies are trying to make them shut up. Another sign is rubbing along their necks. So, keep your eyes open and watch your partner’s body language. Listen to what his body is trying to tell you. Is he giving a gesture that is opposite to what he says? Let his body tell you what the truth is.
3. WATCH OUT FOR THE USE OF SACRED VOWS
Nothing is sacred anymore, at least not to the consummate liar. Have you ever argued with someone and in the course of that argument when it seems as if you are not going to believe anything they are telling you, they resort to making sacred vows? Something along the line of “I swear on my dead father’s grave” or “Before God and man.” Things like this should definitely be a red flag to you because if liars bank on the fact that these things are sacred to most people and therefore if they swear on them, people would find it easier to believe whatever they say. So, the next time you hear the “I swear” statement coming up, you might want to remind them that you aren’t a judge in the court.
4. THEY TRY TO BUY INTO YOUR EMOTIONS
The last and desperate attempt at making you believe them is trying to buy into your emotions. It is sad, but most people do fall here. The lying partner like I said earlier has perfected his craft very well and he knows his partners’ weakness. In the very last moment when all of his tricks have failed, he pulls out the biggest of them all, emotional blackmail. He begins to remind you of past events when he hadn’t lied to you or had been with you. He begins to ask questions like “Don’t you love me?” which is quickly followed up by an “if you love me, then you would believe me.” This statement is simply used to make you feel so guilty of not trusting them while simultaneously getting your mind off their lies. Voila, they got you. Other statements that might also have the same effect are “Don’t you trust me? Or its variation, ‘trust me.’ Another one is ‘To be honest,’ or ‘honestly.’ Beware if your partner trying out these phrases on you; they are a clue to the fact that you are being lied to.
So, now you know that they are telling you lies. Now what? Do you let it go or do you confront him? Well, most of us would choose to confront him. That’s okay because even I would want to confront him and have a showdown myself but then, there are ways to confront a liar, and we have those Cia approved ways for you straight from a now retired CIA officer who is also the CEO of QVerity, Phil Houston. Dear old Phil has given us a couple of pieces of advice which can be found in his just newly published book, Get the Truth: Former CIA Officers Teach You How to Persuade Anyone to Tell All. We have brought out a few of them for you. Here’s what he advised.
1. LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU KNOW.
I know it would feel so good to be able to scream “GAME OVER! GIVE IT UP; I KNOW YOU ARE LYING TO ME. I CAUGHT YOU!” because I would definitely like to do that to my partner if I knew that he was lying to me but Phil, does not advise that. He is an advocate for you letting your partner know that you are aware of his lies. However, he does not agree with the method that most of us would prefer which is the one I presented above. He does give us his own method which we would all agree is better to follow since he is an authority on the subject. Phil advises us to let them know that we don’t believe their lies. I know, I know, saying Game over is the same thing but Phil cautions us to say it in a low tone that does not seem threatening. For example, you might want to say ” I know you said that you forgot to pay the bills, but I really do not believe what you said. You can tell me if you spent the money.”
2. GET THEM TO QUICKLY SHUT UP.
I mean yea, if someone were lying to me, I would do my very best to try to get them to shut up especially when I am sure that they are telling me lies. It just grates on the nerves to hear those lies, and so you just want them to can it. But there might be a more serious reason for which we should do our best to make sure that they keep their mouths shut as soon as possible. This reason is that each time that they tell you a lie, your subconscious mind begins to accept it as the truth. This is probably why many liars keep repeating their statements over and over again. They simply want your mind to absorb their lies as the truth. Think of how horrible that would be. This is why more than anything, you need to get them to shut up. How do you do that? By talking. Begin to talk to them and try to coax them into telling you the truth.
3. TAKE AWAY THE RISK
One of the biggest reasons what people lie is tied to the fact that they don’t want to be caught and punished for something wrong that they did. So, if you take away the motive, you have also simultaneously taken away their need to lie, and they won’t have any motivation to tell you any more lies. But how do you take away the risks? Statements like “I’m not going to be angry if you tell me that you spent the money.” Or “You aren’t the only one to have ever spent money meant for paying the bills on something else.” Or this favorite one of mine “It doesn’t matter if you have already spent the money, I don’t care about it, I just want to know so that I can replace it.” With these reassurances that the risks have been taken away, the truth would come out of its hidey hole. It’s simple, make them feel like they have no reason to lie and they would not lie.
4. FINALLY, FERRET OUT THE TRUTH FROM THEM.
After letting them know that you are aware of their lies, stopping the flow of lies from them and taking away their reasons for lying, sit back and ask them for the truth. These steps have been a series of sequential steps on how to break down a liar and get the truth from them. At this point, getting the truth is a done deal, it’s as easy as interrogating a child. All you have to do now is ask. Funny right? Considering the fact that you have been asking all this while for the truth but you have been unable to get it. Ask a leading question such as “Did you spend the money meant for paying the bills?”
Well, those are the important steps to know when it comes to dealing with this troublesome thing called lies. Now, you will be better equipped to discover if and when your partner is telling you a lie and what’s more? You can turn the tables on them and get the truth for them. I feel like I should mention here that some very hardened liars with mental problems would most probably never say the truth no matter what. But these steps aren’t for them and for now, you can always protect yourself from the lies of people around you.
Lies are very hurtful things that can set up a very damaging chain of events. Both children and adults need to avoid telling lies. But on occasion, you would definitely come across those people who can’t tell the truth. Now, you need to bring out your book of CIA tricks and teach them a lesson or two.